Gumboot wearing, alpaca farming fromagier.

Well hey there readers! Haha. See how it was like I was pretending I had readers? That joke never gets old.

Well, it's 6:30 pm on a Thursday night. I seem to have myself prepared for the night ahead - already in my pyjamas (plaid bottoms and a NIN "With Teeth" tour t-shirt), I have "The Truth About Cats and Dogs" cued up on my laptop, drink not yet made, but after this, and some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. And my knitting. I'm like an MC Escher painting of cliches -- a cliche within a cliche within a cliche.

Not much on my plate today - the low point would have been when we were doing deep breathing exercises in group therapy and I had to unbutton my jeans under the table because I couldn't manage to do "belly breathing" within the confines of my "fat pants." Definitely sweatpants on Monday. I felt so insecure that I came home and emailed an aquaintence who does minor fashion photography, seeing if he ever needs an "alternative" (tattooed, partially shaved head) model. He said that he would keep me in mind, based on past experience of being an amateur model and burlesque dancer. Amateur model screams "NAKED" to me, but most of it actually wasn't!

High point of my day? Hard to say... perhaps now. I feel so bland about everything that I do, that it's difficult to find a high point per say. Definitely NOT the two emails from two seperate ex-boyfriends. Definitely not that.

Weekly update? I quit my job. Yes indeedy! When I return to work in February, I will be looking for something outside of the clinical counselling field. I celebrated my first day of unemployment in style, by bouncing a $550 cheque, and receiving a letter increasing my rent. I feel like a true, unemployed hooligan. Now, I was figuring I would go into something in the area of street outreach, but upon further consideration, I'm wondering. Why limit myself?? In celebration of my newfound freedom, I have comprised a list of occupations that perhaps I will pursue. Take a gander - what do you think?

1. Fromagier. It's a fancy French word for someone who sells and knows all about, you got it - CHEESE. I actually have a friend who was a fromagier, and it was quite a lucrative position. The only downside is that she actually had to eat some of those cheeses that you mistake (sight AND smell) for a pile of dog vomit you'd avoid in the park. I came up with this idea as I unwrapped a block of cheese before climbing in the shower and actually bit a piece off before returning it to the fridge.

2. Kareoke Video Star. I've been keen on this one for ages. You know how they can't use real music videos for kareoke, so all videos star one man and one woman in various situations - on a swing in the park, washing a car (and having a playful game of throwing sponges at one another), a restaurant intimate dinner, and so on. I want to be that uninteresting, forgettable face of kareoke!!

3. Alpaca farmer. Now, originally I wanted this profession because it meant I could live on a small gulf island, wear gumboots, drive without a seatbelt, and sell my alpacas' shit to gardeners for a FORTUNE. (seriously... fortune). Now that I am a knitter, however, the possibilities are endless! I can spin and knit their wool. And am I mistaken, or do alpacas produce milk? I'm thinking I can somehow work cheese into this situation, as well.

4. Writer. Hmm, wait. I can't even get people to read my blog for free. Scratch that.

5. Personal organizer. Ahh yes. Now, seeing as I scored fairly high on the OCD scale whilst having my psychiatric evaluation, this one has my name all over it. My ex used to tease me by putting one thing in my apartment out of place before leaving. I would return, and find, for example, the places switched of two of my snow globes, the coffee table moved one inch outward from the couch (I noticed that immediately) and the books on the table NOT at a perfect ninety degree angle. My idea of a fun day is cleaning and organizing my refrigerator. Nuff said.

6. Last but not least, professional Medical EI collector, knitter, bad television watcher, casserole making, group attending NUTJOB!

... well, one out of six ain't bad!

xoxo-PS