William Tell Overature (and other stuff.)

Hello Readers!! *happy bum-wiggle pyjama dance* Readers!!

How can one feel dreary when the sun is out and the William Tell Overature is playing on CBC Tempo? Any of you CBC geeks like listening on Friday mornings? I'm a big fan of Friday's "music that rocked my world" because it inevitably includes the more inspirational classical tunes. If I listen long enough, I'm bound to hear cannons, and who doesn't love music with cannons? (embarassing fact: I wrote my story behind the music that rocks my world and sent it in about a year ago, and it got PLAYED! *adjusts her nerd glasses*)

I managed to get up around 10:00, which is fairly good for me, considering I don't sleep between the hours of 1:00 am and 6:00 am. Those hours are saved for restless random dreams and intermittent reading/pug cuddling/eating/music listening. I like cuddling with my dog in these hours because she's SO asleep that I can stick my finger in her mouth, pull her tail, roll her over and pick her up by all her legs and she is completely pliable. One of these days I'm going to muster up the energy to brush her teeth at 4:00 in the morning - the only time I believe it could be done.

So. I woke up this morning to... 158 page views! Woah Nelly!! Hence the happy bum-wiggle dance. Now, keep in mind that half of those are me, since I *still* can't figure out how to get from my blog main page to the button that lets me write a new post. I feel like I'm the rat that didn't develop a response to Pavlov. But I digress, and feel I should explain the recent blog-related developments.

With two cocktails in my system and a feeling of creative recklessness, last night I decided to put my blog up on my Facebook page. I had been wavering for a while, and ultimately I was against the idea. I don't know why. I guess I liked the idea of sharing my story anonymously but as it turns out, being anonymous kinda means that no one knows you and therefore doesn't bother to read what you say. Funny, I hadn't really thought of that wrinkle in the plan. I knew that posting this on Facebook would mean that people who access my account would read about some of the more private (and quite embarassing) aspects of my life. So I created a compromise. I went through my Facebook page and cleaned up. I hacked through my Friends list and kept those near and dear, and some who may not be so near, but who I certainly respect in one form or another. After that, I felt a bit safer sharing this with my newly limited world.

I have received nothing but positive support, words of kindness and love, and praise, for what I have written so far. Thank-you to those who reached out and made me feel like maybe I made the right decision by sharing this. For the record, I have always felt like I share WAY too much information in all aspects of my life. Like there's people out there who often think "does this woman have no sense of privacy? Or dignity for that matter??" Yeah, apparently not. The thing is, I know the stigma is out there, but I honestly don't understand the stigma around a clinical depression and anxiety diagnosis - not in my life, anyways. I'm priviledged to have the support of people who understand that mental illness (for lack of a better term) is just shit that happens. That's it - shit happens. For me, it's always been in my life, it's my experience, and it's always been in my work -- it's all around me. It's normal. That's why it feels normal to talk about it as though I was talking to friends about that bad cold I had last week, or the story behind how I broke my leg on a ski trip.

To summarize, I feel inspired, and maybe even a little energized. Something I haven't felt in a while, actually. I will continue to write as though no one is reading... I will continue to share the truths of my experiences - the good, the bad, and indeed - the UGLY.

Thanks Funseekers!
PS