Much like an avacado... I just don't travel well.

Welcome to this year's travel edition!

If I'm lucky, I manage to go about a year without any travelling (Gulf Islands are always excluded). 2010 however, has been a doozy! For the first part of the year, I was dating someone who lived across the ocean, so I managed to get over every two or three weeks without too much anxiety and drama. Well, without *too* much. Needless to say, there were the crippling moments of anxiety and bad nights where I just wanted to click my ruby shoes and be transported back to my safe little haven, but I sucked it up for the good of my personal life. I fear, however, I have reverted.

I have avoided travelling since June, and this month, I'm diving in again.

I feel I need to pause and address those who are thinking to themselves: "are you INSANE? I want to travel the world! See the sights! I want to drink wine and eat cheese in Italy, I want to climb the pyramids (except you aren't allowed to any more) and see the fashion and art in Paris!" Yeah. You know what? I do too. Desperately. If I could somehow do all that and click my ruby red slippers every night, back to my home then start again in the morning, I would.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm like an avacado. Or perhaps a soft tomato or peach. I simply do not travel well. First of all I have a crippling phobia of throwing up (apparently Brooke Shields does as well, so I'm in good company) AND to boot I get motion sick. Then I have a panic disorder. Roll those into one and you have a girl who would be comfortable (not happy, but comfortable) within walking distance of her world. I know, I know... why do I have to be comfortable all the time? Step outside of that comfort zone! Well, that's like asking a dog to be a cow. It just ain't ever gonna happen. I can paint spots on my pug and teach her to Moo, but who are we kidding? She'll never be the real deal. And because i don't think I will EVER feel comfortable travelling, I just have to suck it up, face my WORST fears, and pretend.

So to anyone out there who doesn't really understand not enjoying travelling, I know it must seem strange. But think of your worst, deep down fears. Think of that thing people do where you say "I don't think I could do that even if you paid me a million bucks". Now put yourself in my shoes.

This Christmas, I am going over the water, on a ferry, for the best, most wonderful reason imaginable - to see my big bad sister!! I'm SO excited to see her, and I miss her like I would miss my eyes or my legs. It physically hurts to not have her around. The thing is, I have to travel and spend days in someone else's apartment to do so. Very, very scary. I've already decided my computer is coming with me so I can document the good, the bad, the ugly. Hopefully more of the former.

Don't get me wrong. There will be good times - wonderful times. When I put myself in that scarier-than-life position and get myself there is when I socialize the most with some of the people I love the most in this world. Worth it? Absolutely. Am I dreading it? More than I could ever explain. Quite the basket of emotions.

Well, this is the introduction, this weekend will be the test. Stay tuned, and please - wish me luck.

PS